Manuel Buck - when worlds collide

when worlds collide…

Everything can change within a fraction of a second. One moment and your life is turned upside down. Sometimes we need to fall deep to rise and change our life. 

Back in 2017 this is exactly what happened to me. One moment to change everything. Rolling along on Easter Sunday on an easy ride and a cat ran into my front wheel. Seconds later I find myself on the ground. Diving into the tarmac head first is nothing to recommend and without a helmet I wouldn’t be able to share this story now.

Nearly breaking my neck and with severe brain injuries the road of recovery was long...very long and bumpy like the cobbles of Paris-Roubaix. I struggled a lot not being able to do many things I considered normal in the past. I forgot everything, got lost in my hometown, couldn’t even follow simple conversations and for about 6 months I wasn’t able to work. When you wake up in the morning, prepare a coffee and 3 hours are gone without remembering what I did during those hours? That was a normal start of the day.

And the worst part - nobody could tell me how long it will take or even if I ever get back to ‘normal’ again. At that point I wished for broken bones or something else where I could ‘see’ the damage on an X-Ray and see the progress of healing. On all the scans the doctors did my brain looked fine - but it wasn’t. The total unknown of what’s ahead was the biggest struggle. Nobody could tell me if it’s months, years or if I would have to live with it for the rest of my life. On top of that the acceptance of the society for injuries you cannot see is quite low. “He is pretending…” and the lack of ‘understanding’ was all around. You get more sympathy and compassion with a plaster on your finger than I did during that time. 

With all the unknown and difficulties I went through a very dark time.

What changed all this?
How did I find myself being the happiest ‘me’ today?

The first big step for me was to ‘accept’ the situation and the fact that I cannot change the past. Deciding to make the best out of it and look ahead. We always tend to look back and ask ‘why did all this happen to me’. Accepting the fact it did happen and trying to live with it was the first step on the way out of the darkness.

A very good friend of mine once said “maybe it happened for a reason”. Maybe it did. Maybe I had to fall deep to rise. It didn’t make sense to me at the start but over time I realised that this crash changed everything. It changed  the way I see life.

I won’t lie as still up to today I have days where I struggle a lot. Where I fall back into the darkness. But overall the days are brighter than ever - enjoying every moment and appreciating everything around and  the things I ‘can’ do. All this made me realise what’s really important in life and this is for sure not chasing ‘money’ and ‘things’. You cannot buy happiness. Embrace every moment, enjoy the time with friends and family, follow your dreams and your passion.

For me that was the way out of the darkness. Chasing my passion for photography and cycling, friends and family who have always been there have been my anchor in this stormy time. ‘Thank you’ to all those who have been there for me!

Photo Credits and gratitude Brazo de Hierro, Jochen Hoops and Manuel Buck