I recently decided I needed a change, I found myself unhappy at work and after a few months found something new. I had a couple of weeks between the two so I decided to use that time to get away and reset. I loaded up my Standert Pfadfinder, jumped on a plane and headed for Girona.

It coincided with the second anniversary of my last episode in May 2022 and while I like to promote conversations and sharing I’ve actually found that I like my own space at times like this. I know people worry about me being alone but I’m happy to talk if I need to and also know when I need to and when I don’t.

I looked around for somewhere to go on a budget and surprisingly ended up booking a week in Girona. I was super conflicted about going back. My last visit was October 2019, prior to that I’d called it home and if you’ve known me long enough you’ll also know that’s where my first serious episode took place.

You could say this trip posed a real test. I decided to ride North to the Pyrenees, one of my favourite trips from when I was a guide here. It’s a four day 600 km 9000 metres of elevation ride taking in some of Catalunya’s finest climbs and most beautiful scenery. The tests with this trip would be both physical and mental. The physical aspect I was OK with, I’m out of shape but I kind of didn’t really care, day one was 122 km and 2400 m of climbing and the later part of the day from Oix to Beget has some angry gradients, the whole day was uphill, with a bike fully loaded with enough kit, probably too much kit for the four days., but the familiarity made it easier and the scenery distracted from the suffering.

The mental challenge wasn’t about the cycling either, if I’m being honest I never really wanted to return to Girona and potentially trigger myself. Constant reminders of a time when I imploded and tried to deal with it on my own. I didn’t know how to talk to anyone, I didn’t know I was ill, I just assumed I was depressed and angry. I came here for solitude, I was hoping I wouldn’t bump into anyone I knew, I soon realised that’s not possible here. Once I dumped my bags at Rocacorba Atelier and caught up with an old friend and co-cowner Raoul I moved on to Espresso Mafia for a decent coffee. I sat there for a while, as I did all those years ago, it felt like I’d never left. I had my head down, doom scrolling, all of a sudden I heard someone call me. It was Amber Meier, greeted with a smile and a hug, all the dread of seeing people left and I was at ease immediately.

One of my biggest achievements this trip was meeting up with Tristan Cardew and getting him out for dinner. The original Girona influencer (sorry mate). Back in 2017 Girona was super transient, I guess it probably still is but seeing a few faces from my time there was great. Girona’s changed a lot, more cycling business’ and cafes, lots more tourists, it’s really exploded. I remember cycling with Christian Meier one morning back in I think 2015 maybe 2016 and being shown La Fabrica when it was just a shell. back when it opened there was nothing like it, it was a gamble opening a speciality coffee shop at the time but it soon took off and seeing it running at full gas all these years later is testament to some serious hard work from Christian and Amber. Has the town lost some of it’s charm with this explosion, am I remembering it through rose tinted glasses, maybe. Is the riding as incredible as I remember, definitely.

The ride was a chance to remember why I used to love this place so much but also a chance to get in my own head. somewhere I’ve not always been comfortable. This trip was supposed to help me reset and recharge before I start a new job but I wondered if I’d bitten off too much with both the physical and mental aspects of the trip. The route I chose was one I’ve wanted to return to for some time. I haven’t been up to 2000 m on a ride or done any 10 km + climbs in a long time, I used to do it daily for months on end, no wonder I was only 63 kg and not slow.

I wasn’t able to attack the climbs the way I used to, my bike with all the kit also weighed significantly more, as did I. I had to forget about the past and the rider I used to be and focus on the now. I soon realised that regardless of the previous I loved being here and I loved the solitude. The climbs were empty, no cars or cyclists, this was escapism at it’s finest.

My SOP for trips over the last couple of years is just go and fucking do it. Don’t plan too much and whatever the weather just enjoy it. Deciding to ride to the highest point in Catalunya in May was as ever not the smartest thing I’ve ever done. As I got to the top I could feel spots of rain, I reached the coach park at the ski station on Vallter 2000, 12 km at an average gradient of 7.8%., it’s a punchy MF at times. It soon turned into snow, heavy snow, do I sit it out or just get head out. I put on a couple of layers, gloves and rode out. I was still cold, so cold that I thought I had a speed wobble and stopped a few times to check the front end of the bike, I soon realised that I was just shivering.

The four days of riding and I had all the weathers, snow, wind, rain and even some sun. I rode back into Girona I felt great, a very familiar route for the last 30 km, the sun was shining and I felt great.

As the ride progressed I felt lighter, more comfortable and at ease with my surroundings. A mixture of a great location, incredible food and hospitality and only positive memories.

Day one I was worried about being triggered but I came away from this trip achieving two things. The main goal was recharging and resetting and I’ve returned home ready for a new exciting challenge. The second one was reminding myself that Girona is still and always will be an incredible place to ride and there’s still some wonderful people there.

The Road to Respair is about the return of hope after a period of despair. I’m thinking this trip was Repair “lite” as I’ve not suffered the despair this time but I am feeling more hopeful and more positive.

Thanks to Raoul and the Rocacorba Atelier team for the support, Amber and Tristan for the warm welcome everyone else Neil and Alexandra for the coffee and chats.

The trip worked.

The route details can be found be following the links below:

Day one Girona - Mollo

Day two Vallter 2000

Day three Collada de Toses - La Crueta

Day four Mollo - Girona

For any advice or questions fill out the form below.

I’m looking to run a version of this trip in July. An overnight (or two) ride North, mainly off road on sublime Catalan gravel. If you’d be interested in hearing more drop me a line on the contact form below.