New Year same me and I’m good with that.

This one’s short and sweet

Probably the hardest thing to overcome this year has been the sense of embarrassment or shame and without dwelling too much I’m pleased to say I've done it. I spent the start of the year keeping a low profile. Previously I would’ve said I retreated and isolated myself but I now prefer to use the word “insulated”. I deleted all my socials for a few months which if I’m being honest actually felt great and I may even switch it all off from time to time again to cut out some of the noise and distractions. Being off instagram is really what kickstarted my writing here and reusing the site again, it felt good and allowed me to figure out some stuff and how I use it and question whether or not it’s healthy, I’ve already covered some of that in other posts HERE though and that’s not really what this is about.

What’s really helped me this year is work. It’’s forced me (in a good way) to put my head above the parapet and re-engage with people. I’ve been able to do it on my terms and in a genuine way. and taken my time to not force anything or be uncomfortable doing it. I run our weekly VIA Regents Park laps, something that I dreaded earlier in the year but I look forward to them each week now. I’m running and attending more and more events and happier leading more and more things.

I’m finishing 2023 in a really good place, comfortable with both my physical and mental health. I’m enjoying riding and have had a couple of really consistent months and probably the most surprising thing is how easily it’s happened. I’m on the trainer 2-3 times a week and enjoying it, when I venture outside I don’t mind what the weathers doing (except for the fucking wind) or care too much about numbers. With all the kit I’ve acquired there’s no reason not to go out, but now I never feel like I have to, I’ve got nothing to prove.

There’s quite a few people who come by work for coffee or laps, all have helped make me feel more comfortable and more like my old self so thanks and long may this continue.

Nick