suppression

What is suppression?

Suppression involves extinguishing a wildfire, preventing or modifying the movement of unwanted fire, or managing a fire when it provides benefits like vegetation reduction or improved wildlife habitat. Firefighters control a fire's spread by removing one of three ingredients fire needs to burn: heat, oxygen, or fuel. They remove heat by applying water or fire retardant on the ground with pumps or wildland fire engines, or by air using helicopters or airplanes. They remove fuel by removing burnable vegetation with hand tools, by using heavy equipment like bulldozers, and by setting controlled fires to rob an approaching wildfire of fuel.

Wildfire growth is based on weather, topography, and fuel. Fire managers must react quickly to changing conditions and may use varied strategies and tactics to control different areas of the same fire. No matter what, the primary objective of any suppression operation is to protect life and property, as well as any valued natural and cultural resources.

That’s from the U.S. Department of the Interior. What the fuck’s it got to do with me you might be thinking. Well it’s exactly how I manage my stress and prevent my illness from taking over. When I look back at the times I’ve spiraled, lost control and hope and what’s triggered those episodes it generally involves a lack of self awareness and control, I ignored issues and only reacted when it was too late. Problems were all consuming. I was engulfed by the flames. I couldn’t see what was happening until it was too late. For anyone discovering my journal for the first time THIS post is where I was exactly two years ago, it was dark. I’ve changed a lot since May 2022 and picked up a variety of coping strategies which include choosing what to give a fuck about and allow to stress me out and also when I do struggle how a reset can help.

Much like the firefighters who set fires to burn scrubland ahead of a wildfire so it doesn't have any fuel in its path, I’ve learned to do this when I’m worried about how I’m feeling. Sometimes I can’t not give a fuck and I have to deal with what’s in front of me before I get engulfed by it. I used to distract myself by exercising and posting loads on social media, meds helped, therapy didn’t and sometimes talking did but now I’m better at seeing what's coming and choosing how to deal with it and I have the support of my girlfriend who’s generally my first port of call, I don’t hide my feelings from her anymore and I’m able to let her know when I’m not OK.

Recently I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed and worried that I could let things get out of control and I’ve had to make some difficult decisions including setting small controlled fires to prevent the oncoming wildfire from destroying everything in its path, like in 2022. My “Manson was right all along” post HERE talks about how I choose what to allow to affect me, but I can’t control everything and I don't want to medicate to cover things up I want to deal with them and learn how to. I also want to deal with things on my terms and have choices, do I starve the wildfire of any fuel or let it burn out naturally.

My ability to cope and make choices is a massive step forward. I feel incharge or should I say in control of my illness at the moment and not the other way around. The wildfire comparison may seem a bit of a stretch, but I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve said my heads on fire when I’m stressed. Each time I’ve lost control I’ve been unable to cope, I wasn’t able to see what was coming until it was too late. I hope that’s not the case anymore.